love never stops.
c.krill and i attended a wedding a couple weeks back... a few maybe. i have kinda lost track of time. its summer. sue me (no, don't.). at the wedding i had the opportunity to sit down and have a little chat with c.krill's grandma (on his dad's side). they call her grandma pinkie because her cheeks are rosy. isn't that just the cutest? we got to talking about her son, my husband's dad, and his upcoming marriage.
first... a little background. for those of you who don't know, c.krill's mama took her own life 4 years ago come christmas time. it was a difficult time for the whole family, especially my sweet hubby and his daddy. part of the reason my husband wanted to move home was to help emotionally support his family. what can i say? i married a winner.
anyway, we got to talking and she asked me what i thought of her son's new fiance. i told her the truth of course... i really like her. she is fun, adventurous, talkative (she can keep up with me, and that is saying something), she loves my baby, and she loves my father-in-law. what i love most about her is how she can barely say anything without mentioning the Lord and His goodness. i said all this and more as i watched this sweet woman next to me, her eyes filling with tears. she explained to me how happy she was for her own baby, that she was grateful to live to see him joyful again, to see him loved by another.
i cried with her. i couldn't help it. i started thinking about the love i have for my son. sometimes it fills me so that i think my head and my heart are going to burst. i love him with everything in my being. i am not saying he doesn't annoy, frustrate, or confuse me. that would be unrealistic. but i always love him.
then i thought about him growing up and meeting a girl. terrifying.
grandma pinkie watched as her own little boy grew into a man, fell in love with a woman, had babies, lived and learned with her. and then she watched on as her son lost this woman. heartbroken, knowing she couldn't do anything to fix the darkness in his life. i cannot imagine this. i get anxious when the older boys on the playground don't understand why my son isn't speaking fluent english. "why you no talk?" they ask him. "because he is a baby!" i want to defend, as i sit on the sidelines. jr. just babbles something unintelligible and laughs before following them around.
i can't imagine my love for my son ever dwindling. i can only imagine it growing, amplifying. i can imagine being in grandma pinkie's situation: in her 80's (and healthy, ptL), looking on as her son, even while in his 60's, experiences God's goodness and faithfulness in his upcoming marriage this weekend.
her tears of joy are beautiful to me. they show me her mother's heart.
then i see the real kicker: God's love for me is perfect. it doesn't wax, wane, or even grow. He already loves me to the utmost that love can even be. i wonder what that kind of love feels like? when i already feel like i could burst? i cannot wait to find out.
i don't have a pic of the new couple (i will this weekend though!) so i'll just share this one from father's day.
